I attempted to paint today. Actually, I forced myself to paint and threw out the result. (Be thankful that I’m not posting a picture of the painting on here…) Initially, I wasn’t even sure whether I wanted to paint with acrylics or watercolours.
When I first dabbled with painting in high school, I was interested in painting with watercolours. My enthusiasm must have been evident because my parents paid for watercolour lessons. I enjoyed the transparency of paint over paper. Over time, I found acrylics to be appealing. The pigment was so rich and deep. There are a few things I associate with the summer after my Grandad passed away and painting with acrylics is one of them. Each day at my summer job, I’d experience a thrill at the thought of painting that evening. I painted seascapes or wide expanses of clouds. More often that not, I’d listen to nocturnes.
I returned to watercolours later and it would become routine to set up my tray, water, brushes, paper before turning on the record player. Except when painting with watercolours, I turned to The Platters. Always. I would try to listen to other kinds of music, but I couldn’t get comfortable unless I heard “Remember When” or “Twilight Time”.
With the prompting of Carol Marine’s book Daily Painting, I started to create today. No, I wasn’t pleased with the result, but I knew I had to start somewhere. As I painted, I reminded myself that it if I failed I could paint, again, tomorrow. I could even choose a different medium.
Being reunited with old hobbies and interests has been difficult. At first thought, I was exhilarated, as I dared to imagine a more creative life, as I gazed at the future I once held. Yet, there will be days (like today) when I don’t feel like creating. When I think of it, painting, playing the piano and writing are not unlike exercising. (Perish the thought!) They all begin with placing one foot down and then the other and repeating the process. Even though today’s efforts were wasted, I’m comforted knowing that I can take another step tomorrow and that today’s acrylic’s painting is safely in the garbage where no one will see it.